Sunday, January 22, 2012

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BECOME LIKE ME? - PART 2

Another disabled person wannabe..Once again this picture was taken today by Mosmin in Maybank Alam Mesra branch, just 2 weeks after I blogged about the same incident right at the same place. What is wrong with this person? Why must you park at disabled car park while you are not a disabled person? Do you wish to become one? Do you know that it's easier to become disabled person than die at the scene? Do you know that you can custom your level of disability by choosing which part of spine bone you want to be crushed or broken into two??

Why must you take for granted of your ability to walk using your full functioning legs?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BECOME LIKE ME?



Gambar ini diambil di kawasan tapak letak kenderaan OKU di Maybank cawangan Alam Mesra. Kredit kepada rakan saya Samri dan Mosmin kerana telah mengambil gambar ini. Page ini bukan untuk mempromosi kereta Gen 2 Proton, tapi sekadar ingin berkongsi dengan rakan-rakan lain tentang attitude masyarakat kita terhadap kemudahan OKU di tempat awam.


Pada masa tersebut rakan saya Samri (pengguna kerusi roda) bersama Mosmin telah pergi ke Maybank cawangan Alam Mesra, tapi berasa kecewa kerana tapak letak kereta yang dikhaskan untuk kenderaan OKU telah diambil oleh pemandu yang bukan OKU. Mereka terpaksa menunggu sehingga tuan punya kereta Gen 2 yang jelasnya bukan OKU, untuk beredar, barulah mereka dapat meletakkan kereta dan turun untuk berurusan dengan pihak Maybank. Masyarakat harus sedar bahawa tapak letak kenderaan OKU ini bukan hanya disediakan supaya OKU itu mudah mendapat ruang parking sahaja, keluasan tapak tersebut membolehkan seorang pengguna kerusi roda mempunyai ruang yang cukup untuk membuka pintu, menurunkan kerusi rodanya dan pindah ke kerusi roda tersebut. Namun, attitude masyarakat yang tidak peka dan sanggup untuk menggunakan kemudahan OKU untuk keselesaan sendiri. Seperti yang diunggapkan oleh Peter Tan dalam blog beliau di bahagian HALL OF SHAME "Pray very very hard that you never ever officially qualify to use these parking spaces."


Walaubagaimanapun, tidak dinafikan kemudahan OKU seperti slope membolehkan pengguna kerusi roda akses ke dalam bank dan layanan yang mesra yang mengutamakan OKU oleh kakitangan Maybank telah banyak membantu proses pengurusan Samri pada hari tersebut. Saya telah difahamkan bahawa pihak Maybank sedang melakukan anjakan paradigma berkenaan fasiliti dan perkhidmatan mereka ke arah yang lebih baik lagi dengan menumpukan pada kebolehaksesan. Usaha ini sedang dijalankan secara berperingkat dengan menaiktarafkan cawangan-cawangan Maybank yang terpilih di seluruh negeri. Sehubungan dengan itu, saya telah menghantar gambar-gambar di atas kepada En Goh, Channel Development Officer (Maybank), dan beliau telah berjanji untuk melakukan tindakan yang sesuai berkenaan perkara ini.


Secara peribadi, saya cadangkan agar pihak pengurusan Maybank melakukan penguatkuasaan dengan hanya membenarkan kenderaan yang mempunyai pelekat OKU sahaja untuk meletakkan kenderaan di tapak letak kenderaan OKU tersebut. Of course, pihak bank harus meletakkan seorang yang bertanggungjawab dalam melaksanakan penguatkuasaan tersebut seperti seorang security guard sebab kita semua sudah sedia maklum dengan attitude masyarakat kita yang tidak akan gentar kalau sekadar meletakkan amaran secara bertulis.


Apa pun, saya percaya pihak Maybank melalui En Goh akan melakukan yang terbaik dalam usaha mereka untuk menaiktarafkan kemudahan Maybank khususnya dalam isu kebolehaksesan.





Thursday, January 5, 2012

Luke's story...


This is the adorable, Luke..He is a wheelchair user because of Spina Bifida. I met him this morning at the Rehabilitation Clinic at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. When I first saw him, my attention was immediately drawn into his adult wheelchair, size 14 inches (which is my own wheelchair seat size). There was too much space around his body and he had already developed  Scoliosis to his spine because of it. I approached him and slowly made friendly conversation with him, although he was quite shy at first. However, he later told me that he loves to play computer games and he repeatedly made the angry birds sound :)...

I was quite pleased when I heard that Dr. Anis was going to provide a new wheelchair for Luke, one that was suitable with his small body size. However, I was not happy when I heard that he was in Special Education classes in SK Luyang and learning from a Special Education curriculum. What is wrong with our education system nowadays? He has Spina Bifida, but he doesn't have learning difficulties so why would the school put him into Special Education classes? Though his physical appearance is not like other healthy children, but his mind is still sharp and fit to learn from the ordinary curriculum; he was unfairly discriminated against due to his physical appearance. Upon learning this I spoke to Dr. Anis about Luke, and she shared a common concern about this problem in Sabah. Something needs to be done because it will definitely effect the future of children like Luke. In my opinion, the principal of SK Luyang should come up with something to solve the problem at hand instead of placing a smart child like Luke into special education classes. One solution could be assigning a teacher to teach Luke with the Ordinary Education curriculum if accessibility of the classes is the issue.

I traveled a lot and I've met a few friends that contributed to success stories of children with disabilities in schools. For instance, Mohammad Zulkifli, a wheelchair user due to Guillain-Barre syndrome from Sandakan attended ordinary class in "SMK Elopura 2" and completed his Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia with flying colours. This achievement was aided by the principal because he saw him as good as other students in his school, without discrimination. The principal moved Mohammad’s class together with non-disabled students to the ground floor and they studied alongside him. In another case in Beluran, Farreha Natasya, another wheelchair user, was placed in a Special education classroom, but is learning from the ordinary education curriculum, thanks to her teachers and the principal.

Let us imagine that people with good brain function are forced to learn the syllabus that is not to par with his or her real IQ? Now imagine that person is you.....So, how would you like to be treated? Think about that deeply...

'Sigh'............



Tuesday, January 3, 2012

KAJIAN TEMPATAN MENGENAI KEBAHAGIAN OKU FIZIKAL OLEH EN FERLIS HJ BAHARI (UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA SABAH)


April 2011, saya terima panggilan telefon dari seorang pensyarah Sekolah Psikologi UMS iaitu En Ferlis Hj Bahari (gambar tengah) yang sedang menjalankan kajian Phd mengenai Kebahagiaan OKU Fizikal. En Ferlis telah meminta izin untuk menjalankan temuramah dengan saya mengenai kehidupan OKU Fizikal untuk membantu dalam kajian beliau. Saya betul-betul excited bila dengar tajuk kajian yang sedang dijalankan oleh En Ferlis kerana ini merupakan kali pertama dalam hidup saya diminta oleh seorang ahli akedemik untuk menyumbangkan maklumat tentang OKU untuk tujuan ilmiah. Kemudian saya telah diberitahu oleh beliau bahawa sepanjang pengetahuannya, belum ada lagi sesiapa yang tampil untuk menjalankan kajian berkenaan kebahagian oku fizikal secara kajian tempatan kerana selama ini maklumat-maklumat sebegini kebiasaannya diperolehi daripada hasil kajian daripada luar negara.

Due to the nature of my business, pelanggan-pelanggan yang saya temui sememangnya golongan kurang upaya fizikal yang memerlukan peralatan perubatan seperti kaki palsu, kerusi roda dan lain-lain lagi. Ini secara langsung telah memudahkan proses pencarian responden untuk membantu En Ferlis dalam mendapatkan maklumat dalam kajian beliau. En Ferlis juga telah melibatkan diri beliau dalam kumpulan Young Voices Sabah dalam usaha untuk memahami lebih dekat lagi tentang kehidupan OKU.

En Ferlis memberitahu saya bahawa beliau percaya dalam kesedihan dan kekurangupayaan OKU Fizikal, pasti wujud kebahagiaan....Secara peribadi saya yakin bahawa penemuan dari hasil kajian ini nanti pasti akan menyumbang sesuatu yang significant pada golongan kurang upaya.

Sehingga hari ini, En Ferlis masih lagi menjalankan kajian beliau dengan mengikut jadual bulanan perjalanan kami ke seluruh daerah dan bahagian negeri Sabah seperti Tenom, Keningau, Beaufort, Papar, Kota Belud, Kudat, Lahad Datu, Kinabatangan, Sandakan dan Tawau untuk bertemu dan memberi perkhidmatan kepada golongan kurang upaya.

Saya doakan agar En Ferlis dapat memperolehi hasil kajian yang berkualiti demi kebaikan OKU satu hari nanti dan memperolehi Phd beliau dalam masa yang ditetapkan. Insyallah...




ADVOKASI MELALUI MUZIK - YOUNG VOICES SABAH BAND


BIOGRAPHY 

Young Voices Band adalah merupakan kumpulan muzik yang dianggotai oleh 6 Orang Kurang Upaya Fizikal. Kesemua mereka adalah merupakan ahli kumpulan Young Voices Sabah, sebuah kumpulan advokasi yang memperjuangkan hak-hak kesaksamaan orang kurang upaya di dalam masyarakat, yang bernaung di bawah Persatuan Rumah Amal Sabah (Sabah Cheshire Home).

Sebelum tertubuhnya kumpulan YV band ini, ahli-ahli kumpulan bermula dengan berkumpul dan menyanyi secara kecil-kecilan sekadar untuk menghiburkan rakan-rakan OKU yang lain. Bila mereka menyedari bahawa bakat nyanyian dan kebolehan bermain alat musik seperti gitar, keyboard, biola, saxophone, mereka mengambil keputusan untuk menubuhkan kumpulan muzik Young Voices Band.

 

Tidak seperti kumpulan muzik dari golongan OKU yang lain, ahli-ahli YV Band menjadikan persembahan mereka sebagai medium untuk menyampaikan mesej kesedaran kepada masyarakat bahawa OKU itu wujud dikalangan mereka dan boleh melakukan perkara yang dilakukan oleh orang lain yang bukan OKU, jika diberi peluang yang saksama. Sejak dari itu, YV Band telah banyak membuat persembahan secara langsung di majlis atau program yang dijemput oleh Jabatan Kerajaan ataupun yang dianjurkan oleh Persatuan Rumah Amal Sabah (Sabah Cheshire Home) sendiri.

Ahli-ahli kumpulan YV Band terdiri daripada Fariz Rani (Vokalis/Gitaris), Saidih Ramli (Vokalis/Gitaris/Keyboardist/Saxophonist/Violinist), Jatin Moginza (Vokalis/Gitaris), Tonny George (Gitaris/Drummer), Kelinus Mudi (Bassist) dan Mosmin Tinus (Vokalis/Gitaris). Fariz Rani, Jatin Moginza dan Tonny George adalah pengguna Kerusi Roda dan manakala Saidih Ramli, Kelinus Mudi dan Mosmin Tinus adalah pengguna Kaki Palsu.


Terdapat kepelbagaian pada Genre lagu yang dimainkan oleh YV Band yang merangkumi Balada, Slow Rock, Pop Rock dan juga Jazz dan memilih lagu-lagu Oldies dalam kebanyakkan persembahan mereka. YV Band juga menghasilkan lagu-lagu ciptaan sendiri oleh ahli kumpulan mereka seperti lagu tema Young Voices Sabah “You Are Not The Only One” dan lagu berentak Jazz “Selamanya” oleh Fariz Rani dan Saidih Ramli.

YV Band berharap agar dapat melebarkan sayap mereka ke seluruh Sabah, dengan menggunakan bakat dan kebolehan mereka dalam muzik untuk menjalankan advokasi dan kempen kesedaran tentang hak saksama OKU dalam masyarakat.

BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN! :))))))

Sunday December 4, 2011

Able despite disabilities

By ROWENA CHUA and AZEEZAH JAMEELAH MOHAMED MOHIDEEN

Undergraduates show that their disability is not at all an obstacle to their hopes and aspirations.
AN accident some 13 years ago left Fariz Abd Rani with a spinal cord injury which rendered him a paraplegic. He was riding pillion on a motorcycle and was a first-year undergraduate in Applied Physics in a public university when it happened.
“After the accident, I wanted to request for a transfer to a university in Sabah. My plan did not pan out at the time,” says the 33-year-old.
Life came to a standstill then. “I just stayed at home. All I did was eat, sleep and watch TV,” he says. After three years, he finally came to his senses.
“That was when I seriously asked myself what I wanted to do with my life.”
My family, my strength : Fariz with his parents, sister and nephew.
He soon found a job in a medical supplies company where he spent seven years learning the ropes of the industry.
In 2010, he set up his own business. He became a provider of medical equipment such as prostheses and wheelchairs to hospitals.
His line of work does not allow him to have a desk-bound job and Fariz often has to go out and meet clients, most of whom are accident victims.
It is perhaps one of the reasons why he decided to sign up for the Bachelor of Psychology programme at Open University Malaysia’s (OUM) Sabah Learning Centre.
“I want to reach out to my clients, especially those who are giving up on life.
“With a degree in psychology, I will be armed with knowledge that can come in handy.
“So far, I have relied on my personal experiences and journey to motivate others. I usually tell them that they have a promising future as they can still work and socialise with people, like me.”
Also actively involved in Young Voices Sabah, a local group which advocates the rights of the disabled, Fariz interacts a lot with people who have physical disabilities.
“I am always encouraging them to further their studies. I want them to know that with an added qualification, more opportunities will be available to them.
“It is a good thing that OUM offers discounts on tuition fees for persons with disabilities.
“One of my employees who has an artificial leg recently signed up for the September intake. He opted for the Bachelor of Information Technology programme.”
Initially, Fariz had reservations about enroling at the Sabah Learning Centre.
“I was worried that the inconveniences that come with my physical condition would be a hindrance.
“How do I get in and where do I park my car were issues that bothered me. My doubts were quelled after I met Lamjin Atoh, the director of the learning centre.
The Young Voices Sabah of which Fariz (from row, second from right ) is an active member, after an outdoor event.
“He assured me that my tutorials would be held on the ground floor, that ramps will be installed and that parking lots will be reserved for the disabled,” says Fariz, who drives a car specially modified for his needs.
When asked how he found the tutorials so far, the charismatic entrepreneur who converses confidently in English says, “It feels good to be studying in a class after having worked for 10 years.
“It makes me feel young again. The tutors are great. They understand that we are working adults, and thus suitable teaching methods are used to match our learning styles.
“I make sure that I talk to my coursemates first so that they do not feel uneasy. We are a good mix,” Fariz adds.
Among his coursemates in the English Oral Communication class is a retired government employee while another is a teacher from the interior of Sabah.
“The teacher (from the interior) tell us that he has to cross six rivers to reach his school. That is quite incredible!”
On how he schedules his study hours, Fariz says, “I work on weekdays. My business is fairly new, so I am still very much involved in marketing my products, and that means travelling to different areas within Sabah with my staff.
“Travelling makes me tired. Sometimes, I have to work on Sundays. So, the only time I can devote to my studies is Saturday or, if I am not too tired, a few hours on weeknights.”
From plunging into the depths of despair to rebuilding his life from scratch and becoming a full-fledged businessman, Fariz is a living example that one can emerge a stronger person after a life-altering incident.
“My ultimate goal is to attain a PhD degree because I hope to publish research papers which can serve as educational references in universities.
“I have conducted seminars and workshops, but when they are over, the data used in my Powerpoint presentations go unrecorded. It is such a waste,” says the forward-looking learner who also intends to write a book about his life experiences.
Fariz is also committed to raising awareness among the public of the rights of the physically disabled.
“Our society’s mindset is that if you are disabled, it is best for you to stay at home. Why should such people even bother to study? So, it is very important that human and social interest organisations continue to work on changing such perspectives,” opines Fariz.
“I am happy to be associated with Young Voices Sabah, as it is a platform for me to offer my views on society’s fears and prejudices against disabled people,” he adds.
Fariz also takes part in band performances to impress upon the community that people with disabilities can lead normal lives as well.
“When you see somebody pick themselves up after teetering on the brink of despair, the feeling you get is priceless.
“Family support is important. My family members give me a lot of moral support and encouragement. Without them, I would not be where I am now. But they still worry whenever I have to travel out of town,” says Fariz, before driving off to attend a band rehearsal for a performance where he will be playing the guitar.

UNDERSTANDING SPINAL CORD INJURY (SCI)

Spinal Cord Injury: Basic Facts

Spinal cord injury occurs when there is any damage to the spinal cord that blocks communication between the brain and the body. After a spinal cord injury, a person’s sensory, motor and reflex messages are affected and may not be able to get past the damage in the spinal cord. In general, the higher on the spinal cord the injury occurs, the more dysfunction the person will experience. Injuries are referred to as complete or incomplete, based on whether any movement and sensation occurs at or below the level of injury.
The most important – and sometimes frustrating – thing to know is that each person’s recovery from spinal cord injury is different.

CAUSES

Traumatic injuries

  • Motor vehicle accidents
  • Football
  • Falls
  • Gymnastics
  • Violence
  • Diving into shallow water
Spinal cord injuries affect more men than women. The majority of people who sustain a spinal cord injury are young adults between the ages of 16 and 30 because of riskier behaviors.

Non-traumatic injuries/illnesses

  • Cancer Osteoporosis
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Inflammation of the spinal cord
  • Arthritis

EFFECTS

The effects of spinal cord injury may include the following:
  • Loss of movement
  • Loss of sensation
  • Loss of bowel and/or bladder control
  • Exaggerated reflex actions or spasms
  • Changes in sexual function, sexual sensitivity and fertility
  • Pain or intense stinging sensation

Spinal Column Anatomy: The Basics

When a spinal cord injury occurs, sensation and movement may be interrupted, resulting in a temporary or permanent loss of function, paralysis and loss of sensation. Here are some basic anatomy facts:
  • The brain is surrounded by the skull.
  • The spinal cord is surrounded by rings of bone called vertebrae.
  • Both are covered by a protective membrane.
  • Together, the vertebrae and the membrane make up the spinal column, or backbone.
  • The backbone, which protects the spinal cord, starts at the base of the skull and ends just above the hips.
  • The spinal cord is about 18 inches long. It extends from the base of the brain, down the middle of the back, to just below the last rib in the waist area.
  • The main job of the spinal cord is to be the communication system between the brain and the body by carrying messages that allow people to move and feel sensation.
  • Spinal nerve cells, called neurons, carry messages to and from the spinal cord, via spinal nerves.
  • Messages carried by the spinal nerves leave the spinal cord through openings in the vertebrae.
  • Spinal nerve roots branch off the spinal cord in pairs, one going to each side of the body.
  • Every nerve has a special job for movement and feeling. They tell the muscles in the arms, hands, fingers, legs, toes, chest and other parts of the body how and when to move. They also carry messages back to the brain about sensations, such as pain, temperature and touch.









Levels of Injury

Vertebrae are grouped into sections. The higher the injury on the spinal cord, the more dysfunction can occur.

High-Cervical Nerves (C1 – C4)

  • Most severe of the spinal cord injury levels
  • Paralysis in arms, hands, trunk and legs
  • Patient may not be able to breathe on his or her own, cough, or control bowel or bladder movements.
  • Ability to speak is sometimes impaired or reduced.
  • When all four limbs are affected, this is called tetraplegia or quadriplegia.
  • Requires complete assistance with activities of daily living, such as eating, dressing, bathing, and getting in or out of bed
  • May be able to use powered wheelchairs with special controls to move around on their own
  • Will not be able to drive a car on their own
  • Requires 24-hour-a-day personal care

Low-Cervical Nerves (C5 – C8)

  • Corresponding nerves control arms and hands.
  • A person with this level of injury may be able to breathe on their own and speak normally.
  • C5 injury
    • Person can raise his or her arms and bend elbows.
    • Likely to have some or total paralysis of wrists, hands, trunk and legs
    • Can speak and use diaphragm, but breathing will be weakened
    • Will need assistance with most activities of daily living, but once in a power wheelchair, can move from one place to another independently
  • C6 injury
    • Nerves affect wrist extension.
    • Paralysis in hands, trunk and legs, typically
    • Should be able to bend wrists back
    • Can speak and use diaphragm, but breathing will be weakened
    • Can move in and out of wheelchair and bed with assistive equipment
    • May also be able to drive an adapted vehicle
    • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder, but may be able to manage on their own with special equipment
  • C7 injury
    • Nerves control elbow extension and some finger extension.
    • Most can straighten their arm and have normal movement of their shoulders.
    • Can do most activities of daily living by themselves, but may need assistance with more difficult tasks
    • May also be able to drive an adapted vehicle
    • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder, but may be able to manage on their own with special equipment
  • C8 injury
    • Nerves control some hand movement.
    • Should be able to grasp and release objects
    • Can do most activities of daily living by themselves, but may need assistance with more difficult tasks
    • May also be able to drive an adapted vehicle
    • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder, but may be able to manage on their own with special equipment

Thoracic vertebrae are located in the mid-back.

Thoracic Nerves (T1 – T5)

  • Corresponding nerves affect muscles, upper chest, mid-back and abdominal muscles.
  • Arm and hand function is usually normal.
  • Injuries usually affect the trunk and legs(also known as paraplegia).
  • Most likely use a manual wheelchair
  • Can learn to drive a modified car
  • Can stand in a standing frame, while others may walk with braces

Thoracic Nerves (T6 – T12)

  • Nerves affect muscles of the trunk (abdominal and back muscles) depending on the level of injury.
  • Usually results in paraplegia
  • Normal upper-body movement
  • Fair to good ability to control and balance trunk while in the seated position
  • Should be able to cough productively (if abdominal muscles are intact)
  • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder but can manage on their own with special equipment
  • Most likely use a manual wheelchair
  • Can learn to drive a modified car
  • Some can stand in a standing frame, while others may walk with braces.

Lumbar Nerves (L1 – L5)

  • Injuries generally result in some loss of function in the hips and legs.
  • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder, but can manage on their own with special equipment
  • Depending on strength in the legs, may need a wheelchair and may also walk with braces

Sacral Nerves (S1 – S5)

  • Injuries generally result in some loss of functionin the hips and legs.
  • Little or no voluntary control of bowel or bladder, but can manage on their own with special equipment
  • Most likely will be able to walk

























INFORMATION RETRIEVED FROM: http://www.spinalinjury101.org/details

Monday, January 2, 2012

IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME...


I was once healthy, naughty, energetic, and athletic young man wearing track suits and sport shoes; at that time football was my life. I can still remember my mother scolding me with her outraged look telling me that I didn’t even look like her son because of my dark red sunburned skin. I played nonstop football from sun-up to sun-down (hahahaha). I did play other sports like hockey, volley ball, and hand ball, but not as seriously as football where I managed to reach the state selection level.Though I achieved a lot in the sport I later turned down the offer because I received another offer to further my studies at the University Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM). I accepted the offer with the hope that I could provide a better life for my family with a good and promising career. This picture was taken in 1997 with my university friends about a year before I was involved in a motorbike accident in Kajang that resulted in me being paralyzed from waist down, or the scientific term, is Spinal Cord Injury...(not stroke ah, or patah hip joint ka, sakit lutut ka....kamurang ni)

26th May 1998, about 10pm, I just finished my night class in UKM Bangi for my 1st year degree in Physics. I did not have any transportation at the time, so I was waiting for my friend for a lift back to my campus. I found him at his campus and later he agreed to bring me back with his motorbike. He did mention to me that there was a problem with the front suspension but both of us were too proud and hungry to think about the consequences. I was supposed to head back to my room and sleep, but instead we decided to go out to look for the famous "Satay Kajang" in Kajang. So this is where the "fun part" of my life begins, at a major life changing moment.....

On our way to the satay kajang stall, the motorbike slipped at a curve (most probably caused by the broken front suspension) throwing both of us to the side of the road. The impact of the helmet injured my neck and was later diagnosed by the doctor as Spinal Cord Injury at the C5 & C7 levelThis kind of high level injury forced me into a quadriplegic condition (paralyzed on both arms and legs) temporarily. I knew a little bit about the importance of spinal cords, it’s responsible for normal body function, because I studied Science & Biology when I was in matriculation. There is no cure for spinal cord injuries, at least at the time. The first image that came into my mind was my parents, how was I supposed to tell them that their only son was paralyzed? How are they going to cope with that sudden change in our family? I looked calm, but I could see dark future in front of me and I did not have any idea how to live a life without all the capability to move my arms and legs. I was admitted into the orthopedic ward, and I was fortunate that my sister, Faradillah, was in her final year of study at International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM). She looked after me in the ward from morning until night. My parents flew from Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumpur to help my sister in taking care of me. I feel lucky that my family, especially my parents, gave their full support during my recovery state and they have never stopped giving me encouragement.

After my stay in the orthopedic ward I was transferred into the spinal cord injury rehabilitation ward a.k.a. the K9-Ward to be treated by special rehabilitation medical team. The doctors, sisters, nurses, occupational therapists and physiotherapistsare all specialized in treating spinal cord injury patients.  I was taught how to perform activities of daily living independently in a wheelchair using whatever strength that was left in my hands at that time. Finally, after 3 months of grueling and intensive training in the K9-Ward, I was able to gain back some of the strength in my hands and arms to do almost all of the important tasks that a person in a wheelchair should do, such as putting on my own clothes, transferring from my wheelchair to bed and etc. Eventually, I managed to work from a quadriplegic status to a paraplegic status (paralyzed on both legs only).

Later I was discharged from the K9-Ward and immediately flew back to my beloved home in Kota Kinabalu. However, life at home was not as comfortable as I expected with the inaccessibility of toilets, arrangement of the home furniture, living room, kitchen and everything that surrounded me. I could not do things without asking for help from the people around me, and slowly, I turned from an independent person into a dependent one. Again, due to my strong family support, my father took the initiative and did a major renovation to our house and built fully accessible rooms, toilets, living room and kitchen for my convenience.

I was able to do things quite independently in our newly remodeled home. However, things that I was doing everyday were always the same like watching television, online chatting, listening to music, playing guitar and of course eating and sleeping. Friends that came to visit slowly became fewer and fewer as they all had their own lives to lead. I would hide in my room if people came to our house other than my own friends because I hated it when people looked at me with pity as if there was nothing left for me to do in this life.

There I was, sitting and looking outside, regretting the decision that I made that tragic night and telling myself that I should have just gone to my room to sleep. I was only 19 years old at that time, while my friends were enjoying life as a teenager, I spent my teenage life sitting alone at home.

If only I could turn back time......